So, I almost died...and I fell in love with this city.

Friday:

On Friday night I ended up meeting Jay, the American I had met last week, in a gay club, and although at first I sort of wanted to try something with him, it became apparent pretty shortly after that we were just friends and that, more importantly, we should be each other's wingmen this week. We talked for a long time in the bar, and I expressed how I become so painfully shy with hitting on guys, how I never know what to say, and all that lame bullshit, and he was just like, "What's the big deal? Life's too short." That night I didn't really approach anyone because I was still shy, but watching him was pretty inspiring and made me realize there is absolutely nothing weird or wrong about approaching someone and introducing yourself, as long as you don't do it in a weird way. It gave me hope, and I knew that this week would be the week to put myself out there.

Saturday:

I spent several hours reading in this really pretty park, I got incredibly sunburned (on my scalp again!), and I ended up seeing this movie called 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days about a girl in Romania who gets an abortion after, yep, four months, three weeks, and two days. It was a good movie, but pretty much the most depressing thing I've ever seen. Walking back from the theater, I was just really bummed out and wanted to go back to my place and just read and go to sleep when all of a sudden I noticed lots of weird little things around me. The first was a car full of girls who drove by, honking their horn to a rhythm, with a girl sitting in the trunk with balloons, a cigarette, and a paper crown. The second was a club where everyone in line was in costume. The third was a lot of people I walked by who were covered with foam. And as I approached my street, I saw a crowd of people standing in the street watching something, which turned out to be a parade of people dressed in matching costumes (glittery, sequined tuxedoes with matching top hats) dancing to a huge group of drummers. I completely forgot that Carnaval started that day! There were tons of people in the streets spraying foam all over each other, and I got sprayed several times in the face. Everyone was really drunk and having a fun time, so, of course, I joined in the festivities, bought a 40 and drank it on the street. I ended up going to a bar but got WAY too drunk to even approach people, which I wanted to do that night but I realized that I should have good judgment, take a cab home, and try the next day.

Sunday:

Jay and I met up and hung out at this really cool street market in my neighborhood. We talked for hours, and by far my friendship with him has been one of the most rewarding things I've done here so far. I ended up asking him all about what it's like to be out in the world and in the gay dating scene (he's 28), and it really made me excited to get older. He was telling me his theory, which I think is so true and makes me feel way better about dating/relationships/etc., which is that in contemporary America, and not just in the gay scene, but just in general, there really are no rules when it comes to dating and relationships. Whereas in the 1950s, there were very much rules that if you violated them, you were shunned pretty much from society, but in the contemporary era, you can be single at any age and not be an outcast. You can be into S & M and find places in nearly every US city where groups of people participate in those activities. There are no rules; people make their own dating/relationship/hookup rules and where people struggle is not understanding that the person they're dating, fucking, etc. just has different rules in their mind.

Anyways, we ended up going out to a bar that night and when we were standing on a corner, talking, I noticed a bus driving by full of people leaning out the window, yelling at me, and motioning. All of a sudden, I heard Jay yell, "Look out!" and run. I heard a crash, turned my head, and a fucking car was barrelling at me from an intersection, going probably about 40-50 mph. I quite literally run out of the way right before this car smashes into a store front and shatters the window. It turned out the driver of the car had a heart attack right before then, and passed out with his foot on the accelerator. Jay and I were fine, but I was in shock for about two hours afterwards, not saying anything, not really noticing anything, just thinking about the sight of a car just about to hit me. The owner of the bar was like, "Oh my God. Come inside. I'll get you some free tequila shots." Hahaha We ended up leaving and going to a club where I decided to be daring, and I approached a guy who I thought was cute whose name was Adrian (I was into him because he looks like Che Guevara). He ended up being really nice, we danced for hours, and I ended up making the first move and kissing him and then inviting him back to my place when we left the bar at 7 AM (so fucking late, right?). We didn't really do much, but it was nice just to know that I did this, that I picked up a really nice, cute guy, that I have it in me.

Monday:

I woke up with Adrian, and we hung out for a while and ended up getting up and getting lunch. It was really kind of awkward after that, and I realized he's kind of dull. Eh, we'll see. We exchanged numbers and he left. Today's been amazing though. I really feel like I'm coming into my own and I'm discovering, this sounds funny but it's true, how to be a man. Really, though. I've been realizing that I'm taking more chances and risks than I ever have in my life, and because of that, I'm feeling fulfilled. I'm discovering my potential, and I'm actively pursuing my desires. I've never felt so happy and mature in my life! I've also been writing again (I started a short story called "Jet Lag"), which has been really important to me. I love this city!